I was generator challenged this morning. Attempting to conserve power by starting our small generator, my brain found it’s well worn groove and executed the same maneuver 3 separate times even walking away between each try so as not to “flood” the poor machine. Finally, dejected, I called David and asked why the generator might choose today of all days to cease functioning. His usual reply, “user error, perhaps?” Convinced I followed the proper protocol, this did not seem likely. Having no choice but to try another approach, I switched the choke button to the opposite position and it started right up. Only thing is, I continued to let it run on choke... At this point in time, I have started this generator on a multitude of occasions. My brain doesn’t feel especially foggy this morning – not any foggier than usual I should say. But I now have scrambled eggs for brains when I attempt to think about where the choke button should be…
My mornings are a combination of checking email and Facebook, making coffee and sitting down to write.I used to treat my writing time as more of a “sacred space”. Not wanting to bring in any distractions, I would calm myself first, absolutely not check email or Facebook and sit down to write for my appointed time.I have abandoned this practice.Now, I jump around a little manically and still manage to write.
This morning, I explore the symptoms of PTSD and while on this track, I listen to Louis GK’s “Everything’s amazing and nobody’s happy”diatribe on Conan.F-ing brilliant!Edgy, real and making fun of all we hold precious.Because I laugh, does that mean I don’t have any PTSD symptoms?No, it doesn’t mean that.
Fortunately I have the ability to view my situation and myself objectively.I know the most important thing I can do is to be where I am, and not judge my process.I am pretty good at that.