What would life be like without our people?  Not worth it.  My people include my furry people that keep us laughing with their antics.  The main benefit to having my own bed in Flame is that Tigger sleeps with me.  I have explained to him that it is an open invitation as he is such a good sleeper, curling at my feet and staying put.  I can’t make too much of a ruckus about it as Roscoe is not a good sleeper and if I boisterously invite Tigger then Roscoe will jump up too.  Roscoe likes to sprawl and twitches all night.  Tigger is still.  Often, Tigger starts on his dog bed (yes, we cracked the code) then ends up with me.  I take great comfort in his warmth on my toes.  David is a no dogs on the bed fella.  My bed is now my domain.  David and I snuggle across the narrow aisle – and yes, twin beds will not be forever once we build our tiny tiny house.

I have the first part of the day at home and am quite happy about that.  I am now officially behind on two writing projects.  I haven’t worked on my Intro again since last week.  It only needs a few tweaks and then I will send it in for review.  And, I have another project which is waking me in the night and infiltrating my sleep… I said “yes” to a workshop Kristina Hall is running where 8 other women and I will each have our own mini-version of a one-woman show in the form of 7 minutes at the microphone in a real venue.  Oh my goodness what ever had me say yes?  What I haven’t mentioned yet, is it’s a comedy show.  Eeeeeegads.  Kristina is a brilliant professional comic with over 17 years experience in front of live audiences all over the world and on TV.  She is pretty much the funniest person I have ever known.  I have seen her perform live dozens of times and never ever get tired of her material.   Recently, I interviewed her on my radio show and we talked about her life as a comic and a writer as well as her mission to allow other women to be free in our expression on stage.  Thus the workshop – and at a time in my life where I am breaking through even more barriers – thus my call to say “yes”.  The caveat for the show and the course – authentic material only.  We take the issues of our lives and bring it all to the stage.  We also are learning the structure of a joke and that’s where my blood runs cold.  If you have been reading for a while, you know I bring in my own brand of humor.  I am good at this off-the-cuff stuff in both my writing and speaking.  But crafting it, then remembering it to present it?  Oh my.  It seems the moment I put pen to paper all funny eludes me. 

Of course, I will talk about the fire.  And, we know there isn’t much that is funny about a forest fire.  But I will draw on the absurd – what people say, my angsty PTSD moments and internal dialogue, the inane and insane.  I have ideas and real-life situations to share but I haven’t put it all together in a cohesive form.  Two nights ago I dreamt that I completely bombed.  It was so so so bad.  Kristina has explained that in this venue we won’t be able to see the audience due to the lights.  In my dream, I couldn’t see them at all.  They were below the stage and behind all sorts of obstacles.  I completely forgot about the microphone and paced all over the stage, rambling and stumbling over my words, forgetting all the punch lines – and no one was laughing.  At all.  Crickets.  Not even a chuckle.

Flame peeking through the trees

Early this morning, I dozed and dreamt of brilliant material which of course I have completely forgotten.  Soon, I will step away from my comfort of writing this blog and into my discomfort of writing that material.  Then I will review my intro and ready it for submission tomorrow.  I will I will I will.  Deep breath with me, please.  I pause for a moment and hear the wind kicking up again.  The wind isn’t funny.  It is eerie, fierce and a little chilly.  The sun warms me though, heating up my silver bullet and calming my mind.  This sweet trailer is a lovely cocoon.  Next weekend, we will build her a flagstone patio apron to honor her beauty.  We bought an umbrella and a little table yesterday.  We are creating a little space of peace and comfort where David and I drank our coffee and soaked in the still lovely view.

I glance out the window at stark black against lush green that is our landscape.  It’s dramatic and raw.  It’s also magical.  I breathe in again – so nice to remember my lungs have a larger capacity than I give them credit.  I keep forgetting to inhale.  Danger seems to lurk around corners but in these peaceful moments, all is right with the world.

So what if I bomb on stage and say absolutely nothing funny.  I won’t die, right?  If I don’t keep stretching myself, I am dying anyway.  Letting go of the outcome has to be one of the gifts of this dang adventure.  It will go how it goes.  I will suit up and show up.  I will stand in the spotlight and test my mettle.  I will sleep the night before or I won’t.  I will suck or I will shine – or maybe both.  It will not kill me.  If you are in Denver, come join us at the D-Note in Old Towne Arvada on the 5^that 7:30 pm.  If you can’t be there, please send me some funny.