I was generator challenged this morning.  Attempting to conserve power by starting our small generator, my brain found it’s well worn groove and executed the same maneuver 3 separate times even walking away between each try so as not to “flood” the poor machine.  Finally, dejected, I called David and asked why the generator might choose today of all days to cease functioning.  His usual reply, “user error, perhaps?”  Convinced I followed the proper protocol, this did not seem likely.  Having no choice but to try another approach, I switched the choke button to the opposite position and it started right up.  Only thing is, I continued to let it run on choke...   At this point in time, I have started this generator on a multitude of occasions.  My brain doesn’t feel especially foggy this morning – not any foggier than usual I should say.  But I now have scrambled eggs for brains when I attempt to think about where the choke button should be…
04 June, 2012 /
My mornings are a combination of checking email and Facebook, making coffee and sitting down to write.  I used to treat my writing time as more of a “sacred space”. Not wanting to bring in any distractions, I would calm myself first, absolutely not check email or Facebook and sit down to write for my appointed time.  I have abandoned this practice.  Now, I jump around a little manically and still manage to write. 
This morning, I explore the symptoms of PTSD and while on this track, I listen to Louis GK’s “Everything’s amazing and nobody’s happy”diatribe on Conan.  F-ing brilliant!  Edgy, real and making fun of all we hold precious.  Because I laugh, does that mean I don’t have any PTSD symptoms?  No, it doesn’t mean that. 
Fortunately I have the ability to view my situation and myself objectively.  I know the most important thing I can do is to be where I am, and not judge my process.  I am pretty good at that. 
27 April, 2012 /